Him

Somewhere around the end of my freshman year and the beginning of my sophomore year I got my first job working at a pizza place a couple of blocks from my house. It was an easy enough job to score, my brothers friend was the manager, and a couple of my friends worked there as well. Those were fun times. Food fights, sneaking beers in the back parking lot during breaks and late night smoke outs long after closing time. Plus, all the free pizza I could stand.

Though through the two years I was working there, I crushed on a couple guys I worked with, there was one guy, who left an impact on me. He was sarcastic with a very dry sense of humor, and took music VERY seriously. So of course we were instant friends. As it often does, friendship turned into more.

He was 21 and I was 15 going on 16. We never really dated exclusively, just on and off again as other relationships came and went. We were never in love, and I never even once thought I might be. This was a drastic change for me, because I was one of those girls that fell in and out of "love" pretty deeply and pretty easily. Not being in love with him, well it's what made us work.

We would spend long hours laying in his room listening to music, and dissecting it note for note. Undertow had just come out and he thought that they were just the greatest thing since Alice In Chains (his favorite). Sober had a pretty deep affect on both of us. There was a darkness about him, he drank a lot, but so did I. Even at that age I knew there were dangers in that path I was traveling, a path that he had already been on awhile.

My friends said he was a player and trouble. Like I said we weren't exclusive, and the thing that made us so close was our friendship. Part of what made that bond so strong was that love of music. He was a good guy, and good friend, who taught me a lot.

We remained friends until right after my senior year when he moved to Colorado. We would talk on the phone every so often, until one day the calls stopped coming. In the 12 years since, I've wrestled with most of my demons, and made peace with them. Whenever I hear Sober, I think of him. I hope wherever he is, he's conquered his demons as well.