Finding Comfort With Axl

I was a Guns N Roses fan from the moment Sweet Child O Mine hit the MTV airwaves. I wore the shirts, hung the posters, and even attended a couple concerts. Lies was another masterpiece as far as I was concerned, and Patience was it's crowning Glory. Never had a more beautiful sweeter power ballad been composed. Besides, a young girl can always relate to the pain of unrequited love. As so many songs do though, this became about much more when it came to me later in life.

My husband & I decided to start trying for children a couple years after we had been married. We felt ready, and had been together for a long time at that point. The time just felt right. What we weren't ready for, was becoming pregnant only a month after we had made that decision. My doctor said to expect it to take at least three months after stopping the pill. We were overjoyed.

Unfortunately the joy quickly turned to pain, when only a few weeks into the pregnancy I had a miscarriage. Worse then that, we would suffer three more miscarriages over the next two years. We reached a point were there was a serious question as to if I would ever be able to carry a baby at all.

After the fourth miscarriage, we were finally set up to see a fertility specialist. I remember one afternoon during that time sitting on my front porch smoking a cigarette (a habit I picked back up after each miscarriage). The radio was playing and I was lost in my self pity and plagued by doubt & fears. I desperately wanted a baby, and it was killing me. Suddenly, Patience came on the radio.

As I listened to Axl's soft voice assuring me everything would work out fine, this song became my child bearing battle cry. It kept me focused and positive that eventually I would have my baby. Which eventually I did. Infact, now I have two.

Patience was a clear reminder that all I needed to do was be patient, take my time, and things would work out fine. I'll forever attribute part of my getting through that time in my life to that song.