Wrong, Wrong and thrice Wrong

To Whom It May Concern,

Please note that some things in life are just wrong. Plain and simple.

* Skateboarding Dogs

* Yodelling Nuns

* Any email spam which shows The Hoff in a state of undress...

You get the picture.

However, this morning, you topped the list with a fashion faux pas that puts all others to shame.

* Belts with Braces

* Thongs which sit higher on your waist than your trousers/pants

* Roots in desparate need of maintenance

* Fanny Packs

* VPL and Mullets

They are nothing compared to the sheer idiocy of wearing croc shoes, with a suit, on a freezing cold winter day.

I accept that they may be comfortable, but this is London, not the beach, and in case you hadn't noticed it's sub arctic out there, so not the time or the place to be wearing an overrated summer fashion fad - even if you want to.

You looked like a twat, so please - for your sake, and ours - don't do it again.

Thank you.